Still under construction, with more info and pictures to come ... .stay listening folks !!

What’s going on down there ?

During the course of waxing there are things that I come across that have educated me and has also helped me to educate others. These are things that appear on our bodies that we’re not quite sure what they are and whether or not you’re the only person in the world with them.

If other parts of my site doesn’t make you cross your legs and start sucking your thumb this may just get you opening them up wide and getting your balls out for a closer inspection. It may even be worthy of an ‘embarrassing bodies’ episode, although embarrassing probably isn’t the right word to use as we shouldn’t be embarrassed, unless it’s something you got through being stupid, must most of these are just a fact of life for some. The photo’s represent the condition and may or may not be a client. Although some clients may jump on the table and say “snap away if you need pics for your website” others are quite as out there …. I get that.

General Body Precinct

Cock and Balls Precinct

• Angiokeratoma of Fordyce
• Fordyce spots
• PPP or Pearly Penile Papules
• Tysons Glands
• Penis lymphocoeles

Anal Precinct

• Anal warts
• Haemorrhoids
• Anal fissure

General Body Precinct

Back to top

Cock and Balls Precinct

• Angiokeratoma or Angiokeratoma of Fordyce

I see these a LOT so, from my observations, it’s quite common to some degree. Generally I see these on guys’ balls, as these pics show, and range from guys having just one or two to having heaps of them. They look a lot like little blood blisters, small dark red or purple raised spots which are composed of surface blood vessels or dilated capillaries.
They can occasionally bleed, which I’ve seen one or two do, when you scratch or damage them accidentally and then out comes the infectious disease coveralls, lots of latex, masks and breathing apparatuses, not to mention the evacuation sirens …. just sounds like a normal Saturday night out on the town really. Nah, seriously now, just for a moment, it’s a bit like a small cut that bleeds more than a little nick should.

Called Fordyce’s angiokeratomas generally found on guys balls but may also occur else and with women around the vulva area.

If you have any you’ll notice that as you get older you may get more of them but no stress, no treatment is necessary unless you don’t like them for cosmetic reasons or if there is associated pinpoint bleeding. A few of my clients, for cosmetic reasons, have had theirs treated at a laser clinic and had a significant reduction in the amount of them but haven’t got rid of them totally.

They’re harmless and can usually be left alone but get them checked out by your local GP if you have any concerns, if you’re forever scratching them to the point of bleeding and it’s a concern for you or just for cosmetic reasons you want them removed then surgical options include excision, laser therapy (not the laser type that I have though), cryotherapy or electrocautery.

I have this client …… (The title to the book I’ve been told to write), anyway, I do actually have this client that had these on his nut sac. At the time ‘Bob’ was shaving his balls because he liked that smooth feel, as did his girlfriend, and that’s when he noticed them for the first time. ‘Bob’ had several ……. most were small with some bigger than others and he thought that if he got a needle and pricked one it would drain the bubble of blood and thus it’d disappear ….. wrong. Contrary to what he thought would happen, and the size of the little thing, it bled for ages and ages taking quite a while for it to stop bleeding yet shaving his balls didn’t seem to worry them or cause them to rupture. Finally ‘Bob’ threw caution to the wind and confessed to his GP his concerns and that’s when he was told that there was nothing to be concerned about, are quite normal and IF they appear, it’s usually as we get older.

Back to top

• Fordyce’s Spots, also called Fordyce granules

Now this Fordyce dude has popped up several times with these couple of conditions regarding our manhood, he was an American dermatologist, John Addison Fordyce  (1858-1925), who was a specialist in dermatology and of all things, syphilis. He first described them in a medical journal and also coined the terms Fox Fordyce disease, Fordyce’s disease, Fordyce’s lesion and Brooke-Fordyce trichoepithelioma ….. wtf ?

Fordyce’s spots are common in both males and females, they’re small, painless raised, pale, red or white spots or bumps 1 to 3mm in diameter that may show up on your shaft, balls or labia. They can also be found on the foreskin of the penis but these are called ‘Tyson’s glands’

Experts think they’re caused by oil (sebum) that’s trapped in the sebaceous gland that doesn’t have any air. Because they’re not opening up into a hair follicle which the oil would normally be secreted into and out onto the skin so because the oil doesn’t have a means to escape, it develops as a sort of ‘pimple. To me, this makes sense so I’m in agreeance.
Fordyce spots then, are a type of ectopic sebaceous gland meaning that they’re a sebaceous gland that’s on the skin but NOT in the hair follicle.  They’re NOT associated with any illness or disease guys. So they’re fine, the only problem you may have with them is more cosmetic where you’re just not happy with the way they look on your balls and we all know how much time we spend looking at them. In any case, it’s always a good thing to have them checked out next time you’re at your GP just so your mind can be set at ease.

Can you get rid of them ? Well kinda … Pulsed dye lasers, electro desiccation or CO2 laser have had some results but a client of mine that’s had them lasered had some positive results but didn’t get rid of them all and I actually couldn’t see any difference with before and after really. Here’s a link I found on YouTube it looks to have been done by a qualified person but Oh My F*#king God !!??  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffJm1PzBdM0 …. Not sure if this is recommended though, and as someone commented, they will reappear …..  just leave them alone unless you spend hours on end flashing yourself on webcam, again, check with your GP.

Complications or side effects of Fordyce spots ? …. If anything, it’d be mainly anxiety or depression as it may affect you more emotionally, especially if you’re sexually active and out screwing around, you may be embarrassed or worried about what other people think in case they go down for a munch and freak out.

Back to top

• Pearly Penile Papules or if you’re feeling smart, hirsuties coronae glandis or hirsutoid papilomas

Pearly penile papules or PPP for short are found around the head of your dick, if you have a foreskin you’ll have to pull it back to see if you have them in case you haven’t noticed them already but you can have them whether you have a foreskin or have been butchered and had it removed.
Like Fordyce spots they’re typically 1-3mm across and are white or skin coloured and feel smooth. Again, just like Fordyce spots, they’re pose NO health risks and are nothing to worry yourself over and are quite common. PPP are NOT infectious, are NOT in any way related to sexual activity and has NOTHING to do with personal hygiene. If you pick at them or try squeezing them you could run the risk of scarring and possible infections developing, I’m not a doctor but even with the youtube link above I’d say leave them alone and DON’T try anything at home, especially attacking them with a needle !!!!
ALWAYS seek the advice of a medical professional if you’re ever concerned about any lumps or bumps on your love muscle and other areas !

 Someone treated through CO2 laser
Back to top

• Tyson glands

These are similar to Fordyce spots in that they’re ectopic sebaceous glands or in plain English, a sebaceous gland that is on the skin but not in the hair follicle. These appear in pairs on either side of the frenulum and again are completely normal and nothing to worry about.

Back to top

• Penis lymphocoeles (pronounced lym-fo-seal)

Penis lymphocoeles appear vertically or horizontally on the shaft of your cock below your knob. Lymphocele is a collection of drainage liquids, called lymph, that accumulates in pockets or tanks and appear as ‘blisters’ beneath your skin. Normally they’re drained away into the bloodstream by channels called lymph vessels but when blocked they accumulate in ‘blisters’ and will hang around until they’re drained in some other way.

A common cause of penis lymphocoeles can be associated to friction, be it from you wanking or having sex, but I’d say if you’re like most of us guys it’d probably be a result from the increase in free porn available out there and more time spent tugging than doing other more productive things around the house.

Just like the other things described above, they’re NOT infectious, are NOT in any way related to sexual activity and has NOTHING to do with personal hygiene. If they’re of concern because they appear after you’ve been wanking (masturbating) you can try helping them to drain by applying pressure on the blister, but they’ll disappear eventually on their own …. You’ll just have to avoid having wanking or having sex for a week or so … OMG how will you be able to live ??? Like everything, if they’re a concern for you, take yourself off to your GP and get him/her to check it out.

Back to top

Anal Precinct

• Anal warts or for the smart condyloma acuminata

Human papillomavirus, or HPV, is a common sexually transmitted infection transmitted either vaginal, anal or orally and is a virus from the papillomavirus family. Now, just to open your eyes a little bit further, there are more than 120 types of HPV all causing different diseases and symptoms and more than 40 types can infect the genital, throat and mouth areas !

Anogenital warts affect your genitals and so can be found on your dick, inside the vagina and around or inside your arsehole. Usually occurring in great numbers, they can be raised, flat, small or large and they the most contagious type. The virus almost always is transmitted from person to person by direct contact. If not removed, the warts will grow bigger and multiply so get them treated.

If very small they can be treated with medications applied directly to the surface of the warts requiring several applications at various intervals over several weeks. Another way is using electrical cautery, surgical removal or a bit of both, if they’re inside your arsehole then cauterisation or surgical removal is probably your option ….. hey, I’m not a doctor but just giving you a heads up on some possibilities …. Like everything on here, if you have ANY concerns about anything, SEE YOUR DOCTOR !!

Back to top

• Haemorrhoids or ‘Piles’

Haemorrhoids are twisted varicose veins that are swollen and located in the wall of the rectum and arsehole.

Causes are generally from increased pressure in the veins surrounding your arsehole resulting from heavy lifting, especially common with guys going to the gym from their squat work. Repeated straining while trying to have a crap, constipation, again causing excessive strain and the pressure from pregnancy may also give you haemorrhoids and can cause pain or bleeding. Chronic coughing, heavy sneezing, sitting and standing for long periods of time can also attribute to the development of haemorrhoids.

There are mainly two types of haemorrhoids, external and internal. There’s this magical line inside your anal canal called the dentate line, those haemorrhoids above the line are deemed internal and those that are below the line and closer to your actual hole are considered external haemorrhoids. The external ones therefore aren’t always visible externally. Obvious symptoms of external haemorrhoids that are visible are lumps that are on or around your arsehole and are basically skin-covered veins that’ve ballooned and when inflamed, become tender and red. Internal ones are just that, inside your arse above this dentate line, and the most common symptom is bleeding, pain and itching.

Get to your GP and have a thorough evaluation and proper diagnosis ASAP. Bleeding may be a symptom but it could also be from other things, one of which may be colon cancer so you don’t want to dilly-dally around, get to your GP.

Back to top

• Anal Fissure

Anal fissures are nothing like the fissures of yellow stone national park ! Yes they’re cracks caused by trauma but these are little tears in your arsehole or anal canal.

Causes may be from trying to pass a large stool (polite way of saying trying to have a shit the size of the Titanic), childbirth, repeated diarrhoea but probably the most common cause with regards to sex would be anal sex. Because you’re greedy with little patience and trying to take something a little too big, too fast without enough lubrication or, you’re by yourself and using some kind of vegetable or other foreign object and trying to ‘expand’ your senses ……. and still being greedy.

Symtoms …. A sharp, stinging or burning pain at the time of ‘entry’ be it a sexual encounter or exit when having a crap. Pain can be quite severe and be brief or last for several hours after a bowel movement. Itching is another symptom as is bleeding but in all cases …. Check …. With …. Your ….. GP ! He’ll probably give you a digital rectal exam and poke his finger up there to find out what’s going on, HELLO …. Or he’ll just have a look, in any case it’s ALWAYS good to know what the hell is going on, especially if you feel like you’re shitting razor blades.

ok, this is rather epic so I'm off to freshen up !

bottom of legitimate story